Everything I Learned about Leadership Came from my Bully Boss
I recall reading Robert Fulghum’s book, All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten many years ago. I have never really thought about applying it to leadership until now. Some of its wisdom, such as “clean up your own mess” is relevant to leadership and reminds us that we should own up to our mistakes and do something about them. His advice, “say you are sorry when you hurt somebody” is applicable to the rising leader who inadvertently hurt someone on their way up the ladder. (If that’s you, remember – it’s never too late to say you are sorry…just saying’)
His suggestion about going out into the world and “watch out for traffic, hold hands and stick together” could very well be effective now in this season of disruption.
It got me thinking that so much of leadership training imparts best practices about what to do to be an effective leader. Yet, I have to say that a lot of what I learned about true leadership came from my bully boss as she demonstrated what not to do if you want to engage employees and advance a productive work culture.
The silver lining of working for a bully boss is that I now know what NOT to do as an effective leader. Imagine, stepping into a leadership role equipped with a playbook that eliminates those tactics that crush productivity, silence voices, squash ideas, stymy innovation, and leave untapped talent in the ranks.
My experience translated into this cheat sheet that outlines 5 Ways to be an Effective Leader (thanks in part to the actions of my bully boss.)
· Praise the Efforts of your Team in Public – Don’t give praise in a hushed whisper in an after-hours voice mail. If someone on your team executed a plan, or implemented a flawless process, celebrate it and do it publicly in the presence of others.
· Welcome Questions from Your Leadership Team – If you stifle a question from a key team member about a process or plan you outlined, you may also be inadvertently stifling an innovative approach that could get you to your business objective more quickly. I remember a boss becoming filled with indignation when a senior leader suggested that they would go about the process differently than what had been outlined. Create a culture where questions- and ideas are welcome.
· Lead by Example in Actions and Speech – How many of you have known adults - whether they were parents or leaders – who spoke to others and said, “Do as I say and not as I do”? Effective leaders should expect no less from themselves as they expect from their team. Demonstrate effective leadership in your actions and your communication. Lead by example and uphold the behaviors that you expect from your employees.
· Elevate your Team Members not just Yourself – As an extension to the first bullet outlined here, it is not enough to just praise your team members. There comes a time to promote them into positions of greater responsibility and leadership. Some of us are all too familiar with the scenario that the team leader gets the bonuses and promotions while the team members only get the handshake and word of thanks.
· Equip your Staff with the Tools to Succeed – Failing to give them the resources and tools to succeed not only sets them up for failure, but it also levies added stress and frustration on them. This situation can result in them becoming a flight risk lured by a competitor that is all too happy to give them resources to advance projects.
Leadership doesn’t have to be complicated. There is no need to remember long paragraphs of text to increase the effectiveness of your leadership. The Golden Rule, “do unto others…,” which we all learned in childhood can certainly increase the effectiveness of our leadership.
Robert Fulghum dialed it down to simple one-word terms like, “wonder.” I would add words like “empathy” matched with “explore” to round out your leadership toolkit.
When in doubt, mirror those that you see doing it well. Take note of those doing it poorly and add to the cheat sheet above.