Achieve Visibility at Any Age

How to Achieve Visibility at Any Age

"All one's life as a young woman one is on show, a focus of attention, people notice you. You set yourself up to be noticed and admired. And then, not expecting it, you become middle-aged and anonymous. No one notices you. You achieve a wonderful freedom. It's a positive thing. You can move about unnoticed and invisible."

Doris Lessing, novelist, poet, playwright, Nobel laureate

Someone in my network recently shared this quote from Doris Lessing on LinkedIn. So many questions came up for me when I read her quote. It got me thinking… (and writing).

Is invisibility a goal?

What makes someone celebrate the freedom of being invisible?

How does the lack of being noticed become a positive thing?

When did middle-aged and anonymous go hand in hand?

It is times like these that I put on my explorer hat and dive deeper. My curiosity fueled my actions -despite the other work on my desk.

As I re-read the quote over and over, here is what my exploration revealed:

Visibility is Available to us at Any Age.

Visibility is something we control. Visibility is not something that is levied upon you. It comes from stepping out, speaking up and “putting yourself into the ring,” as Brené Brown reminds us.

Unlike other age-driven-transitions in life, like getting a driver’s license, being able to vote or drink alcoholic beverages, visibility does not have an age attached to it.

One Must See Herself First in Order to be Seen.

Just like the saying, “it takes one to know one,” you cannot expect to achieve visibility when you haven’t taken the time or refuse to “see” yourself.

Visibility is achieved when you first recognize who you truly are. Visibility flourishes when you not only know the very essence of who you are, but also like and celebrate that person, too. If this last criterion is not met first, then you will inevitably get in your way and cast a shadow upon yourself so that you are not seen.

Freedom in Middle-Age is Fueled by Wisdom

Freedom in middle-age comes from the wisdom that fuels our actions, not because some believe themselves to be invisible as Doris Lessing would suggest. It is easier for middle-aged women to be more visible when they acknowledge and harness the wisdom that they have cultivated throughout their lives.

Visibility can ignite our influence and elevate our voices, too. How freeing is that?

Invincibility Cancels Out Invisibility

Helen Reddy reminded us that we are invincible. When we begin to “see” ourselves as invincible, the shadows of doubt dissipate and illuminate our brilliance. With the light shining upon us, we can’t help but bask in the warmth of the confidence that ensues.

A Light Behind Closed Doors Still Shines

Just because you close the door on a light doesn’t mean it isn’t there. Okay, maybe it doesn’t hold true for refrigerators. (I know you know what I mean…Ever try to close the refrigerator door and watch to see if that light stays on? Go ahead, admit it.)

Ostriches are another way to demonstrate this point. Ostriches aren’t aware of the light that surrounds themselves when they bury their heads… but the sun still shines.

The quickest way to keep the light shining and increase your visibility is to come out from your hiding space and look up…which is available to us at any age.