How to Effectively Engage in Small Talk
Small Talk Mastery
Feeling confident while making small talk can have a big impact on your career success. Though the days of hanging out at a water cooler may be long gone, it doesn’t mean that mastering the art of small talk is any less important.
Whether you want to fit in, develop relationships or collaborate more effectively, small talk can build community and connection.
When Chatter Matters
We have all been in the company of “That Person” who dulls everyone’s senses with incessant chatter at a networking event. No one likes to hear someone talk for the sake of hearing their own voice.
So, what makes small talk masterful? When it consists of the perfect combination of confidence, curiosity and connection.
Small Talk Big Impact
To effectively engage in small talk, it helps to have an opener. Harnessing the FORD method will give you a laundry list of topics to initiate small talk and build rapport.
FORD is an acronym for Family, Occupation, Recreation and Dreams.
Starting a conversation about Family can go beyond the basic, “do you have kids?” and allow inquiry about extended family, where they grew up, and even pets.
Your small talk about Occupation may very well begin with, “what do you do?” but can also open up a pathway for you to add to the conversation and speak about what you like about your job or detail the impact your company is making in a core area.
The subject of Recreation knows no boundaries. Here it is helpful to be curious about activities, hobbies or sports that you don’t participate in as well as seize the opportunity to pose questions in hopes of finding a fellow enthusiast with similar interests to share stories and perhaps resources.
Dreams are a Wish your Heart Makes
Jiminy Cricket famously sang, “Dreams are a wish your heart makes.” Dreams can also be what deepens conversations.
Best reserved for someone you already have a relationship with, small talk about dreams can be very revealing about the inner workings and desires of that person. In the context of work, you can simply ask what they are hoping to accomplish this year.
Using these openers to kickstart a conversation will pave the way to establishing common ground to nurture small talk. However, getting into small talk conversations is one thing… getting out of them is another.
Observe body language to recognize when the person may be motioning to move on. At these moments, it is effective to move to a close with a summary of what was discussed or an affirmation of a next step such as expressing a willingness to watch the movie or read the book you discussed.
Speaking of books, if you are curious to learn more about the art of small talk or masterful conversations, here are a few books on the subject.
The Fine Art of Small Talk - Debra Fine
Conversationally Speaking - Alan Garner
How to Win Friends & Influence People - Dale Carnegie
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